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1.05.2011

The Best of Roller Derby in 2010: The Tronnies

If you didn't vote on the Tronnies on Derbytron's facebook page, shame on you. If you did, THANK YOU. The Tronnies started out of off-season boredom and have grown to something that's not really that big but let's get on with the awards. The first winner in each category is my choice and the second is as voted on facebook. 

2010 MVP: DeRanged
People's Choice: DeRanged
What more can be said about this year's MVP other than she's probably the best jammer in the world and a pretty damn good blocker on top of that. She took Rocky Mountain from a middle of the pack team in the West to instantly competing for a championship in 2009 after transferring from Pikes Peak with Psycho Babble and Ecko. The 5280 Fight Club followed up their surprise performance in '09 with a Hydra in 2010. The addition of Urrk'n Jerk'n didn't hurt matters but the added time to gel as a team may have had more to do with the championship run this year. It's pretty hard to argue against the best player on the best team earning MVP honors and that's just what the Derbytron and people did in 2010 naming DeRanged of the Rocky Mountain 5280 Fight Club MVP. 

2010 Most Exciting Tournament: Rollin' on the River
People's Choice: Uproar on the Lakeshore
Sure, Uproar had the best bout of the year in my opinion and the opinion of DNN's readers but one bout is not an entire tournament. I definitely spent my fair share of time bashing everyone that labeled Rollin' on the River "Besterns" but they just may have been right but not for the reasons they were giving. Sure it had the best teams but it also oozed with drama. Oly's first WFTDA loss EVER. The return of Bay Area. The fall of Denver. It had everything that Uproar lacked until the final half of the final game.  

2010 Best Demonstration of Ridiculous Athletic Ability: Bonnie Thunders scoring 108 vs Philly
People's Choice: Urrk'n Jerk'n's Weeble Wobble
Urrk'n Jerk'n's Weeble Wobble originally inspired this category but the more and more I looked into it, the more and more Bonnie Thunders' performance in the 3rd place game of Uproar on the Lakeshore kept looking more ridiculous. Philly gave up more than 108 points only two other times after February in 17 games and we're talking about giving up points to entire teams here, not one jammer. The thing is, that's not the ridiculous part. The ridiculous part is that Philly only allowed 106 points to Oly the day before. OLY! Seriously. Bonnie Thunders scored more points than the entire Oly roster. Sure, IM Pain scored more a couple days earlier but that was against Minnesota, not Philly, and only accounted for 44% of her team's score, not 67%. 

2010 Best Uniforms: Denver Mile High Club
People's Choice: Denver Mile High Club
Some may say that Denver's uniforms are anti-roller derby with the real names on the back and the whole uniformity thing. The Mile High Club's uniforms are simple and simplicity always helps. The Mile High Club's uniforms have a lot of personality and personality always helps. The Mile High Club's uniforms have a great color scheme and that always helps. Really, there's no competition in my eyes beyond Montreal who have pretty much the exact opposite uniforms as Denver. Some say Madison but I think they're too doped up on cheese to see clearly. 

2010 Biggest WTF Moment: Launch of Slowderbysucks.com
People's Choice: The Blackface Incident
The Blackface Incident was clearly the moment that probably instantly entered everyone's minds when they read this category but in reality, that was a mistake that was corrected. Slowderbysucks.com on the other hand is still going strong despite the insanity of it. The launch of that site had a full blown PR campaign, the site looks professional (maybe it's just a template but somebody had to photoshop those ridiculous pictures) and the message is clear. Seriously, WTF are they thinking? 1. Slow derby does not suck, 2. It's already naturally become less effective in a lot of situations as teams have adapted and 3. You're really trying to ban a strategy because you think it's boring? How about banning a running up the middle for 2 yards in football? How about banning fouls in the last minute of a college basketball game? How about banning the entire sport of baseball (okay, that might be a good idea)? WTF? 

2010 Best Defense: Rocky Mountain 5280 Fight Club
People's Choice: Rocky Mountain 5280 Fight Club
Rocky Mountain held Oly to 86 points, their only output not in triple digits in their entire WFTDA history. They held Gotham to 79, their lowest score since Dust Devil in 2006. They were able to stifle the top two other teams in the country in ways no one else came close to. Many may point to the MVP and the rest of the jammer lineup as the reason for their championship but those jammers may not look as good without the best blockers in the country in front of them. 

2010 Best Jammer Rotation: Gotham Girls
People's Choice: Rocky Mountain 5280 Fight Club
If I were to ask you to write the names of the five best jammers you can think of, I bet both Bonnie Thunders and Suzy Hotrod crossed your mind even if you didn't write their names down. That two-headed monster dominated opponents this season wracking up an average of 165 points against the 8th toughest schedule in the world. When you throw in Swede Hurt and Hyper Lynx to give the tall ones some rest, you have the best jammer lineup of 2010.


Stay tuned to Derbytron in 2011 for a new site design and a revamp to the ratings...and maybe even more.